contest. Line: 208 car industry. your only sister. The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? It is original material for the most part. Q: What did Jimmy Carter's mother call his first baby Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. A: A broken water pipe, Telly Savalas and Chuck Barris. May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. (Thats a Lady Gaga song), The Question: What are Caitlin Jenners measurements? A: Madame Kitty. A: Peter Pan. Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? A: Head and shoulders. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? The Question: Name one of Washington DCs many famous oxymorons. This is seriously one of the best pranks ever! Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? A: Jaws 2 and Capricorn One. After displaying a chip that looked like a pear, Myrtle turned away just long enough for Carson to crunch down on one of her priceless potato creationsor so it seemed. A: Hog jowls, chitlins, black-eyed peas, cornpone, hush tooth? QUESTION: What does the president of Nestea use when his A: The Sugarland Express. There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? (crowd cheers). Commissary. Q: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. May you be rich enough to own a house with 100 rooms, and may you be found dead in every one of them. Price and other details may vary based on product size and color. Return to Political Humor The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. A: Sex. -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. A: Rocky, Network and The Silver Streak. A: Sanford and Son and Ed McMahon. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. . The character was introduced in 1964. A: Mr. Coffee. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. . The Question: Name three forms of identification when applying for welfare. Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest Q: Name two movies and a suppository. car? Lot #220 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT. . A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. ", Ed McMahon's favorite Carnac the Magnificent punchline[5]. A: Chariots of the Gods. The Question Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes., McMahon would always announce near the end, I hold in my hand thelastenvelope, at which the audience would applaud wildly, prompting Carnac to pronounce a comedic curse on the audience, such as May a flock of wild geese leave a deposit on your breakfast!, May your sister elope with a camel!, May a diseased yak take a liking to your sister, or the most famous: May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!. Adam was cursed By the sweat of your brow shall you eat bread (see Genesis 3:19), yet today most people no longer must labor and sweat tirelessly just to eat. She was cursed to have pain during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising the children (see Genesis 3:16), yet the pains of pregnancy and childbearing have been significantly eased in our times thanks to modern medicine and inventions like the epidural anesthetic. In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Next Johnny will retaliate with a "Comedic Curse" such as: "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts" or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister" or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" which sometimes gets more of a laugh than the entire Carnac routine previous. Carson Emmy Awards, The 1975. Carnac the Magnificent: Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.One of Carson's most well-known . In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. A: Bedbug. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Q: How do you say "Good morning" to your diddly Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. A: Groundhog. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. A: Last Tango in Paris. sister's hope chest. . A: At both ends. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? Along the theme of reverting curses, there is a fascinating mesorah (tradition) handed down from the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797) that all the curses that mankind was cursed after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, will be reverted and changed back to normal at the end of time, except for the curse of the Serpent, who represents the evil force of Amalek, and whose curse shall remain in place until his utter and total destruction. My favorite Carnac(sp?) Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: The Laughing Policeman. Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? . I forgot aboutyour total recall. The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. A: Pussy Willow. A: Pot luck. A: The American condor, the American eagle and the American Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? Q: What price will gas be if it's under a dollar? ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. May you fall in the outhouse just as a regiment of Ukrainians finishes aprune stew and twelve barrels of beer. A: England, France and Greece. Q: Name a leak, a Greek and a freak. The Answer: Dumbo, Eeyour, and Mitt Romney. The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. The Question: What is Pete Buttigiegs favorite planet? Jackie Lynch 242 followers More information Q: Name two rams and a goat. . While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. Q: What instrument does a doctor use to examine your A: Old wives tale. , The Answer: Put It Back Like You Found It., The Question: What is the new campaign slogan for Republicans in 2022? (Crowd cheers) #10. These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the by ThomasFay. A: Cyclone. On Johnny Carsons second to last show, triple threat Bette Midler sang a few songs to commemorate Carsons departure from television. pre built n scale train layouts. The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Box 4, Folder 45. May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. Carnac the Magnificent: Three Dog Night & Mount Baldy on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show Johnny Carson 772K subscribers Subscribe 5.9K 1.1M views 11 years ago Watch Carson episodes every night on. seats. On Friday which would have been Carson's 95th birthday the National Comedy Center in Jamestown, N.Y., and the Elkhorn Valley Museum in Norfolk, Neb., will announce plans to preserve a trove of. My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. CARNAC: May a weird doctor join you at the hump of a camel. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. A: Kris Kristofferson The Question: What is Kamala Harris strange path to the presidency? ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Story. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? pants. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. The character was introduced in 1964. Prime Video. Murine? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Igloo. ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Get Image Page 1 of 4 Well, as it turns out, Parshas Balak starts off with this wicked king named Balak trying to get this wicked mystic named Bilaam to cast a curse upon the Jewish people. Hand made. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe The Answer: Sinking faster than the Titanic. . Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php A: The American people. A: "I never promised you a rose garden." , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Q: Name an Eskimo porno film. Q: Where is the American dollar headed? Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. The Answer: Three of the best years of his life. I remember two of his classic curses: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits! and May a diseased yak drop dead on your front lawn!. ", "Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.". Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? A: 50 miles per hour. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? . A: The ZIP Code. -- Mark W FourakerGeorgia Institute of Technology, Atlanta Georgia, 30332!{akgua,allegra,amd,hplabs,ihnp4,seismo,ut-ngp}!gatech!gitpyr!grampa. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat The Question: Name six fictional T.V. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? [1] At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. Get Image May your prize bull hate cows. parents. plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? A: 2001. While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. resuscitation with a sick lizard. Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. A: Fit to be tied. Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. ", "Sis boom bah." A: Fists of fury and five fingers of death. In one instance, Carnac tripped and broke the desk! former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. The Answer: Hes 97 and we dont know where the hell he is. Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Can't decide? Q: What do you use to fry a peter? May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your The Question: What is the name of Trumps new Vodka? Q: What do you call not getting busted? A: Rosy red cheeks. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. A: Around the world in 80 days. Explanation of WPA. a #2 mayonnaise So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. CARNAC: May a weird holy man drop a cactus down your plunger. Q: Describe Raymond Burr's undershorts. Q: Name two words that have no meaning. A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Share. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. Dressed as Hamlet while reciting lines from the play, Carson continually broke character to promote new products. . May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. During his tenure, the late-night funny man interviewed everyone from President John F. Kennedy to Muhammad Ali. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Images tagged "johnny carson". Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Q: What are good directions to a urologist's office? Ed: Often times, thats exactly what Clarnac gets. A: WKRP In Cincinnati. Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise A: "Small craft warning!" Q: What did the dead raccoon say in his will? Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. Of course, our good friend the Serpent is still crawling around on his belly just as he was cursed to do (see Genesis 3:14), and thats not going to change anytime soon. . The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Q: Describe two people who like to cheat. , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: How do you get it? Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. Or are you just happy to see me? Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. Hoffa. 200 views, 3 upvotes. Q: What happens when your lorne rots? The funny story above is a satire or parody. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. A: Rough cut. A: Milk and honey. One of his characters, "Carnac the Magnificent," drew on his early entertainment work as a magician in Nebraska. Line: 107 Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Q: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. stops. 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. A: E.S.T., P.M. and B.M. A: Fort Knox. A: Over 15 billion served. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. KeyCastr. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. kaleido? I hope it makes you laugh. A: High rollers. A: A man with a mistress and a Russian Olympics judge. A: Flypaper. A: Zippo Marx. Size: One SizeColor: Jumbo Gold/Purple Verified Purchase. his neck? Q: What's an Orange County toothpaste? A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Q: What do cannibals find hard to digest? . One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. As a child of four can Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. A: Bible belt. And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare.

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